Madonna throws shade at 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and talks hanging out with Pope
Was it good for you, Madonna? Apparently not! The pop icon and matador-in-training told Billboard on Feb. 13 that she won't be seeing the record-breaking erotica film Fifty Shades of Grey after finding the book to be a total snooze-fest. The Material Girl
stated that she "...kept waiting for something to happen..." besides
"spanking" while leafing through the international bestseller written by
horny Twilight fan, E.L. James.
Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images
During the interview, Madonna boasted of her history as a sexual icon and threw some shade at James by saying that the book might be appealing to someone that has, like, not even given up their V card
yet, but people with any sexual prowess whatsoever would totally be
thinking, "Um, when are Anastasia and Christian gonna start getting
weird? I've been reading upwards of 500 pages and so far it's all garbage!" Madonna went on to allege that the story was "unrealistic" due to Christian's...er...generosity toward Anastasia.
"I also thought [while reading the novel], 'This is so unrealistic
because no guy goes down on a girl that much.'" Gee, thanks for crushing
the dreams of women everywhere, Madge.
Besides dismantling sexual fantasies for Fifty Shades fans, Madonna
took the opportunity during the interview to talk about the Catholic
church and how she and the Pope Francis
should totally get together for some pillow talk in the near future.
Due to the Pope's progressive stances on numerous issues, the Living for
Love singer states that she'd feel comfortable enough to chat about sex
with the bishop.
"I...feel like this new pope is kind of groovy," she stated. "And I think we might be able to get together and chat about sex."
No word from the Pope on whether he'd be down to meet Madge for
cosmos, but I hear he's a pretty busy guy. Hopefully he'll send a tweet with his RSVP before the weekend is done.
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